Monday, June 29, 2009

World domination and the ole ''my parents are the worst parents ever'' teenage rant

Yesterday marked the annual sighting of the elusive Mylinh and it was pretty chill. Ryan was also in attendance, it was nice : ) we went to the valley after finding out that Transformers was sold out for the entire day which was very fucking fuck. We also tried to buy alcohol at what I thought was this small empty pub, then we got massively cold feet and Mylinh pretended to get a phone call saying that we had to leave--it was pretty funny xD

So anyway for a while now I've been into korean pop culture (come on being into Japanese stuff is soooooooooo year nine, guys) and then the other day I had the epiphany that South Korea is trying to take over the world. Much like the Northern counterparts except with a happier, kill-you-with-cuteness, not trying to dominate everyone in a bad way kinda way.

Firstly, the number of Korean artists who are debuting or planning to debut in the U.S. is increasing.
Why? The United States are one of the most powerful countries in the world, they're also increasing the amount of Koreans present in the Chinese entertainment industry and that means they will infitrate the largest army in the world, disarm them with their catchy pop and then suck the life blood of that nation, and then every other nation in the world.

Secondly, in Brisbane alone, there has been a considerable and by ''considerable'' I mean "Isn't there a quota or something WTF HOW MNY?" increase in the number of Korean residents, shops, restaurants etc

Then I realised how awesome it would be so I stopped worrying and placed my faith in the hands of 9 cute girls singing about Genies. If South Korea were to take over the universe I don't think I would try to stop it, or "
deny ... [such] ... ''benificence beamed across laminex".

So my parents and I don't really have a great relationship and I know what you're thinking, "a teenager not getting along with their parents? No way, man! *rolls eyes*" but seriously I'm really "T_T" over it at the moment. I have decided to start with a positive story because if I didn't I don't think I could ever get out of this hate parents/hate life cos of parents/wanting to be away from my parents forevvvvzzz mindset.

The other night my mum was reading some bible story to me because I had a Sunday school test the next day, and she was skimming through and said, "Oh this story about Arana's wife ... the lady that turned into --"
"yes, a salt bag"
Through this entire time I just kept laughing because it was around 1 in the morning. Then we talked about Mary Magdalene and she asked me what she was to which I responded with, "sluz" to which my mum wearily agreed--"yes". It was funny for me, as is every interaction where I just say anything and the other person just goes along with it, made funnier by the fact that my mum is old. It's kinda like seeing white people rap, or black people play ice hockey--the unexpectedness of it really knocks you. NB: I'm not a fan of Eminem.

Today I got my report card, and it didn't really confirm anything that I didn't know because being the positive person I am I already didn't believe in the concept of ''unconditional love''. This concept btw is still bullshit, it's like ... in Full Metal Alchemist where Ed is whining about equivalent exchange in that final confrontation episode and the bitch he fights with is all "nigga please stfu about e.e. nigga be mad trippin' " Oh, and the other day Ryan said something about him not understanding my relationship between my parents and that I'm cold with them, but I think it's more that my parents being the silly ethnics that they are, make it so that I have to earn love. Nothing in the world comes for free. Blah blah blah, but seriously what do they expect from me? If you're not interested in reading about how I hate my life or me sook about crap then I suggest you stop reading now.

To know that your parents have given up on you is worse then finding out that Santa doesn't exist. It's also very unfair, or at least I feel it is.
"I don't even know what to say to you anymore. You're no good at anything, you don't even clean up the house. It would be okay if you just stayed and cleaned up the house but you don't even do that"
You know what would be a good thing to say?
That you will always care for me because I am your son and that you don't need to do anything to earn my love and that I care for you because you are you.

Somehow this is my fault because I am useless and I have ''changed''. Well, it wasn't my idea to be put in this predicament in the first place because a) you forced the idea of this school on me, and b) I remember telling you what I really wanted to be and you laughed and said I should do that on the side of me planning to get a ''real job''. I clean the kitchen every night, even when I don't eat here, which is more often than not, and yet you let my brother off without doing anything. I do more in this house than anyone else here, and all you manage to do is complain about how I don't do enough. You treat me like a servant and call me an ingrate, when you have never shown that you were grateful for what I've done either.

You criticise me for being too white, but what the fuck do you want from me? I'm going to say it--I'm not even proud of being Samoan, in fact I would go as far as to say I hate it. I'm not embarrased to say that I am Samoan, it's just like saying, "I have black hair," but it's not necessarily something that gives me pride or something I wanted. When I think of my parents' culture and people I don't think of success. You shove your idea of what me being successful would mean, but all you have are your words to back things up with--you're one contradiction after another. You've never understood how hard it is for me, because you literally, have nothing to compare it to. I don't fit in anywhere because I'm not Samoan, but I'm not anything else either, so I'm that weird spot in-between delegated to orphans who have no parents. You project traditional white ideas on me about success and yet you stress the importance of being Samoan, and sometimes--a lot of times, I just feel like calling you out for your shit. When I do though, it's always me just being disrespectful, in that case when am I supposed to tell you anything?

Who the hell walks around mumbling shit about how useless their kids are? What the fuck kind of person does that? Seriously, that's not even sane. The more I think about this the angrier, and sadder, and worse I feel. I can't talk to you about it because you'll just say you don't understand, because you don't, and then we'll have gotten nowhere.

I go to church for you even though I'm not sure if I believe in it. Plus I fucking hate church, I have no friends there and growing up I remember spending all my free time there. Stop putting me in your family prayer every fucking night I'm sick of hearing, "please help Musu in his school work" every night. You don't pray to change anyone elses' shitty ways nope just mine because I am the worst of all things to ever happen in your life. It isn't encouraging, it's just a constant reminder that you're not pleased with me. What makes it worse is that you're bringing your God into this. Please just fuck off with that.

In the end, I guess
unconditional love is too foreign and new-age a concept for my parents to believe in it.

Some of these are the things that I have wanted to say to my parents since as long as I could remember, but they're also the things that I'm never going to be able to say.

So in conclusion I'm lonely and want someone who will drop all their shit for me because sometimes every now and again I need to feel important. Haha, okay I will take my tampon out now. I don't really feel like blogging for a while either.

1 comment:

  1. My parents do that


    But sometimes you just grin and bear, 'cause they're retards.