Monday, June 29, 2009

World domination and the ole ''my parents are the worst parents ever'' teenage rant

Yesterday marked the annual sighting of the elusive Mylinh and it was pretty chill. Ryan was also in attendance, it was nice : ) we went to the valley after finding out that Transformers was sold out for the entire day which was very fucking fuck. We also tried to buy alcohol at what I thought was this small empty pub, then we got massively cold feet and Mylinh pretended to get a phone call saying that we had to leave--it was pretty funny xD

So anyway for a while now I've been into korean pop culture (come on being into Japanese stuff is soooooooooo year nine, guys) and then the other day I had the epiphany that South Korea is trying to take over the world. Much like the Northern counterparts except with a happier, kill-you-with-cuteness, not trying to dominate everyone in a bad way kinda way.

Firstly, the number of Korean artists who are debuting or planning to debut in the U.S. is increasing.
Why? The United States are one of the most powerful countries in the world, they're also increasing the amount of Koreans present in the Chinese entertainment industry and that means they will infitrate the largest army in the world, disarm them with their catchy pop and then suck the life blood of that nation, and then every other nation in the world.

Secondly, in Brisbane alone, there has been a considerable and by ''considerable'' I mean "Isn't there a quota or something WTF HOW MNY?" increase in the number of Korean residents, shops, restaurants etc

Then I realised how awesome it would be so I stopped worrying and placed my faith in the hands of 9 cute girls singing about Genies. If South Korea were to take over the universe I don't think I would try to stop it, or "
deny ... [such] ... ''benificence beamed across laminex".

So my parents and I don't really have a great relationship and I know what you're thinking, "a teenager not getting along with their parents? No way, man! *rolls eyes*" but seriously I'm really "T_T" over it at the moment. I have decided to start with a positive story because if I didn't I don't think I could ever get out of this hate parents/hate life cos of parents/wanting to be away from my parents forevvvvzzz mindset.

The other night my mum was reading some bible story to me because I had a Sunday school test the next day, and she was skimming through and said, "Oh this story about Arana's wife ... the lady that turned into --"
"yes, a salt bag"
Through this entire time I just kept laughing because it was around 1 in the morning. Then we talked about Mary Magdalene and she asked me what she was to which I responded with, "sluz" to which my mum wearily agreed--"yes". It was funny for me, as is every interaction where I just say anything and the other person just goes along with it, made funnier by the fact that my mum is old. It's kinda like seeing white people rap, or black people play ice hockey--the unexpectedness of it really knocks you. NB: I'm not a fan of Eminem.

Today I got my report card, and it didn't really confirm anything that I didn't know because being the positive person I am I already didn't believe in the concept of ''unconditional love''. This concept btw is still bullshit, it's like ... in Full Metal Alchemist where Ed is whining about equivalent exchange in that final confrontation episode and the bitch he fights with is all "nigga please stfu about e.e. nigga be mad trippin' " Oh, and the other day Ryan said something about him not understanding my relationship between my parents and that I'm cold with them, but I think it's more that my parents being the silly ethnics that they are, make it so that I have to earn love. Nothing in the world comes for free. Blah blah blah, but seriously what do they expect from me? If you're not interested in reading about how I hate my life or me sook about crap then I suggest you stop reading now.

To know that your parents have given up on you is worse then finding out that Santa doesn't exist. It's also very unfair, or at least I feel it is.
"I don't even know what to say to you anymore. You're no good at anything, you don't even clean up the house. It would be okay if you just stayed and cleaned up the house but you don't even do that"
You know what would be a good thing to say?
That you will always care for me because I am your son and that you don't need to do anything to earn my love and that I care for you because you are you.

Somehow this is my fault because I am useless and I have ''changed''. Well, it wasn't my idea to be put in this predicament in the first place because a) you forced the idea of this school on me, and b) I remember telling you what I really wanted to be and you laughed and said I should do that on the side of me planning to get a ''real job''. I clean the kitchen every night, even when I don't eat here, which is more often than not, and yet you let my brother off without doing anything. I do more in this house than anyone else here, and all you manage to do is complain about how I don't do enough. You treat me like a servant and call me an ingrate, when you have never shown that you were grateful for what I've done either.

You criticise me for being too white, but what the fuck do you want from me? I'm going to say it--I'm not even proud of being Samoan, in fact I would go as far as to say I hate it. I'm not embarrased to say that I am Samoan, it's just like saying, "I have black hair," but it's not necessarily something that gives me pride or something I wanted. When I think of my parents' culture and people I don't think of success. You shove your idea of what me being successful would mean, but all you have are your words to back things up with--you're one contradiction after another. You've never understood how hard it is for me, because you literally, have nothing to compare it to. I don't fit in anywhere because I'm not Samoan, but I'm not anything else either, so I'm that weird spot in-between delegated to orphans who have no parents. You project traditional white ideas on me about success and yet you stress the importance of being Samoan, and sometimes--a lot of times, I just feel like calling you out for your shit. When I do though, it's always me just being disrespectful, in that case when am I supposed to tell you anything?

Who the hell walks around mumbling shit about how useless their kids are? What the fuck kind of person does that? Seriously, that's not even sane. The more I think about this the angrier, and sadder, and worse I feel. I can't talk to you about it because you'll just say you don't understand, because you don't, and then we'll have gotten nowhere.

I go to church for you even though I'm not sure if I believe in it. Plus I fucking hate church, I have no friends there and growing up I remember spending all my free time there. Stop putting me in your family prayer every fucking night I'm sick of hearing, "please help Musu in his school work" every night. You don't pray to change anyone elses' shitty ways nope just mine because I am the worst of all things to ever happen in your life. It isn't encouraging, it's just a constant reminder that you're not pleased with me. What makes it worse is that you're bringing your God into this. Please just fuck off with that.

In the end, I guess
unconditional love is too foreign and new-age a concept for my parents to believe in it.

Some of these are the things that I have wanted to say to my parents since as long as I could remember, but they're also the things that I'm never going to be able to say.

So in conclusion I'm lonely and want someone who will drop all their shit for me because sometimes every now and again I need to feel important. Haha, okay I will take my tampon out now. I don't really feel like blogging for a while either.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sometimes people just need the noise

I just read Lawrence's post about how the Black Eyed Peas have ruined his life. Personally, I don't think their music is bad because I'm like your mum--really easy to please. I like the fact that I can enjoy almost any type of music. This girl I used to date once said to me that she loved all music (we weren't really into the same music) and I would always, internally at least, think that it was a ''WTFCKSHITBBQ'' comment I.e. major bullshit. Now I have come to know that she could have truly loved all types of music because in some way the same is true for me. I thought it unrealistic that someone would say that they like all music because I would just assume that they were being PC so as not to hurt the unloved music genres' feelings. In my disbelief I neglected the fact that most people can like most things or at least tolerate them ('most' not applying to Lawrence it seems which makes him a racist, flag-burner. It's written on a blog—IT MUST BE TRUE!)

So back to the title of this post I think people need something that sounds pleasant enough to suffice--doesn't have to have the most meaningful lyrics, best instrumentals etc, but it just has to sound good enough. Ravekids need music that is repetitive enough to dance for hours, stoners needs music that is scary enough to illicit the best crazy ass hallucinations, lovers need music that is romantic enough to make them want to f*$*, and some people just need music to fill the silence of there being no music.

We're all human and we appreciate beauty in all its forms, and individual interpretation is going to skew our perspectives. Also don't ask me when I turned into Oprah but I just have, k?

Why exactly did I take it upon myself to write this nonsensical post?
To practice my English, of course.

You know what's more ironic than a young person giving advice about the world and why people like music?
"IMMA FUCK THE DECEPTIKONZ UPPP ... before 7PM cos Jamie is taking me to see the newest Hannah Montana movie. *twirls hair*"

Lawrence is cool because he is tall and if life were like life in Invader Zim he would probably lead the country.

Monday, June 22, 2009


So if you have ever come across a teen bloggy you may have chanced upon an expression of their love for a significant other otherwise known as a ''deDika$|-|unNNNnnnn MENGZ!". I'm not criticizing people but it is amazing how similar they all sound. If it's a whole page it'll usually be filled with sappy words--something like "you are the [insert word for something that completes something] my [thing that is incomplete]" repeated until the person's hands get tired from typing. It might sound romantic, but can true love really be so formulaic? Besides the fact that I find most of these things stupid like "writing until forever" etc like seriously wth so young and thinking this person will last forever T__T This isn't based on one person in particular, but based on a great number of people who think they've found that seemingly unattainable person they will spend the rest of their lives with. Their one. Their 'wei yi' also: lol I could be just some loser cynic but doesn't anyone watch How I met your mother? He's over thirty and hasn't found 'the one' yet. Yes, I use that as an example because my whole life is based on tv. In closing every person who is young is stupid, and some people who are not young are still stupid, and some people who are young are not stupid.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

friend-making advice

So the other week I saw I Love You, Man, and although I didn't find it particularly funny it did pose some pose-worthy* questions. The difficulty in making friends--I bring this up because I swear my friendship circle has been closing in lately. This is the internet and I'm still a teenager so I'm allowed to write at least one pussy bitch blogpost about how pussy and emo I am.

Annnywwwwwwwwaay I would rationalise that most people find their friends through like mutual interests ...

or via facebook/bebo/myspace/blog stalking and since I have no interests, bebo and myspace I'm limited to facebook and blogging. This pretty much leaves me with blog-reading, because well facebook is the most difficult social networking site to stalk on (haha I probably sound creepy but ... I am so what the hey!?) Even then it's difficult to make new NEW friends like people with little-or-no mutual friends whatsoever. Oh I forgot to mention the possiblity of meeting people in real life but that's stupid because in a few years time noone will be real and we will all be like ... ummm usb-sticks? yeah usb-sticks plugged into computers that are switched on all the time interacting through virtual reality, also: wtf, I'm not high. Well actually, I rule out real life because lately I haven't been able to make friends in this crazy archaic way either and so as not to perpetuate my epik faildom momentum I should move to the internet.

So this is just about seeing some blogs that I think are cool and me needing friends, and also my friends are mostly very short and I would like to become friends with people who are not necessarily 'tall' but closer to my height because I went to my friend's birthday dinner last night (Happy Birthday, Eric!) with a bunch of other people I know and they are all mostly considerably shorter than me and a short person might be like, ''well, that's cool", but it's not because being like 44444x bigger than everyone else is weird and strangers in restaurants are probably thinking as you walk in, "Omg that black guy are the rapeskiessss all those kids he are with" or like, "where did black man steal those azn kids from?!"

In conclusion my friends should be taller and today I watched this Spanish movie (world movies channel FTMFW) called ''Fermat's Room' about this guy who invites four people to this room in the middle of nowhere to complete the greatest mathematical challenge ever but it turns out that it's [SPOILER REMOVED]. So now you must watch it : ) and it's not really about maths. It's captivating and intense kinda like Spanish any porn.

Goodbye blog and to everyone reading this I only have this to say:

*I'm going to buy a definitions-book**
**I'm going to buy a thesaurus so I can find a new word for ''definitions-book"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

exam tears and newfound resolves (that are found every term)

So today we got back some exam results and needless to say, I pretty much sucked a big suckbag. Yeah, I was almost teary by the end of the day--not real tears because I am a big man *Ugh want meat* just like those secret tears that you hide inside until one day you explode over something trivial like dropping your pen and then *RAAAAAGGGEEEE, punch strangers in the face*

Considering I am pretty, well, let's be honest majorly SCREWED for most all of my subjects I think I will devote my time to actually reading the english texts and see how far that gets me in life. Nah, just kidding. I know everyone always says, ''oh yeah next term, next term'', well I'm still saying it this term T_T

After getting home in a mood crabbier than your vagina (TOTAL BURN, SUCKER) I decided to make the best of things and make like a straw and suck it up. When I got home I played piano for a bit and I'm slightly happier now because I'm trying to learn a new song. It usually takes me ages to learn a new song because I'm really crap, but I have to try otherwise I will only know one song for the rest of my entire life. That's as useful as something that is not very useful at all.

In other news my phone is acting up and I never have credit which is a double fail--kinda like my results this term. Ooh, self-inflicted burn!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

can't keep it up ... giggle

I can never seem to be able to stay awake for very long after school and as I write this blog I know it's because of the late nights ... where I just do nothing/study. o_o

The first day of exams just finished and you would think I ought to be more prepared because we just had a long weekend but you know I'm a suckbag which reminds me if you put 'bag' on the end of an insult it's instantly an even worse insult. For instance take, ''you're a dick'', the term is indefinite so it doesn't specify the extent to which you are a ''dick'', but if you were to say, ''you're a dickbag'', then you're made aware of the fact that you are one bag's worth of dick. This makes it sound like you being a bag of dickness is a lot more than being a dick itself, because it implies you're more dick-ish. Pointless, I know, but I just like to share.

So I got in and the first paper I have is an English P1, so I didn't feel the need to study much for it, because it was unseen, duh. Then the poem was one we had already gone through last year and I ended up writing a heaping pile of shit. I guess you could say that my English essay was pretty much a massive shitbag! Jankies, right? All the wanking from the weekend that I did, for the purpose of training my arm to not get tired during my english exams, did not prepare me for the strain I felt upon my wrist. Just kidding. Ewww, no, I wanked because I enjoyed it, and by 'it' I mean 'seeing your mum'.

Seeing as tomorrow or rather today in 7 hours I have an English exam on two novels I haven't read (I lost wide sargasso sea the first day I borrowed it from the library xD), a Chinese exam that one of the Chinese teachers said "Oh yeah, it will be really hard" while puckering her lips together to make a sour face showing that her sentiment is genuine, and a Chem exam that shouldn't be hard--I'm just not prepared, I think it was a wise decision. The decision to come on blogspot to quell my thirst for the blog at 1:30 in the morning.               

In other news, what the hell is with the movie, Teeth? If you don't know it's a movie about this girl who has a monstrous vagina that has teeth that can bite and yeah o_o. So anyway I kept thinking about how she kept being kinda ... raped/sexually abused. I find it weird because she was not hot, and I'm just saying it's unrealistic because in a world of drunk hot teenagers and other hot people with the inability to refuse sex I find it weird. That is to say that in a perfect world, the ugly people will be raped least, if rape existed, which it wouldn't. I was going to say "I wouldn't rape her" but it reminded me of the episode in Veronica Mars where that comedy magazine says the same thing, and since I learn everything from my tv, I knew it was wrong to say something like that. It's wrong to say it, so I will just go back to thinking it in my head.      

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Hey Neighbourino

So I've noticed after careful observations and by this I mean ummm having my eyes work that my neighbours don't seem to turn their lights off, ever. Now I don't want to diss them otherwise it would be awkward if they ever read my blog. I don't think they would ever read it, but suppose they happened across it and then they would be like "oh no he didn't?! *snaps fingers*" ya know? Besides they are my only neighbours because I live on the corner of a cul-de-sac, and it's hard to explain so I won't just know that it geographically forbids us from having any or many immediate neighbours, so I can't get rid of them liking my family. It's not like we're super close anyway, and the idea of a block party happening in my street is as probable as you getting with my mum I.e. IMPOSSIBLE. … but in all seriousness who will we give the excess barbecue food to if our relationship becomes strained? Although we have excess BBQ food as often as I use an excess amount of the titrant solution in a titration reaction I.e. NOT OFTEN AT ALL, COS I R PRO, no, seriously I'm the bomb at titrations, there's still the chance that it might happen and then the food will go to waste. From where I'm from it's basically a sin to waste food. If you were to interview my friends or family like this " stealing? Uhhh well is if it wasn't big. Wasting food? FUCK YOU", you would understand how important food is. Food is important, but so is not keeping on your lights all night. Why would they even need the lights on all night? I can't understand why anyone would ever need to do that, but I guess I'm just a big slice of hypocrite pie, because as I type this it's 1.43 in the morning and my lights are still on.

I guess my neighbours and I have more in common than I first thought, and maybe I should be the one to turn off my lights. Maybe one day when they were fed up with me having my light on each night they decided to challenge me to see who could keep their lights on the longest. If so, BRING IT ON.